How to Win a Fight (Part 2)

Hey team! All right, so here I am. Another Wednesday workshop and we’re going to be talking. I invited Andy in here to help me out and demonstrate. We’ve been talking this last week about how you win a fight. How do you do that? The easiest way to win a fight is not to get into a fight.

So we’re going to talk about what you do if somebody really really really wants to fight with you. I mean, Andy’s a big guy. It’s very helpful to have somebody like Andy come in here and help demonstrate this. We’re really talking about verbally. We’re not talking about actually punching people because I mean I’d have friends in here because Andy, again, is a big guy. I mean he hit me and I’d probably go to sleep for a month.

This is about a verbal situation. When somebody verbally punches you. They come up on you. They grab you. We have a special tendency. When somebody comes up in your space and they want to assault you, we want to get into that fighting stance and that move. We sometimes will pull away. I want to show you a physical of that situation and how you would deal with it even if it’s verbal.

All right, so Andy’s going to just grab my arm. He grabs my arm and gets a good grip. Andy, he’s got a really good grip. So he’s got a good grip. Right now, if I try to pull away from Andy, he’s gonna pull me back. If I take and I pull this way, oh no, he can pull me that way. If I try to pull, oh my goodness, he can still pull me.

Instead of pulling him back, pulling away. Instead, what if I step close and I just hold on? Come on Andy, you’re bigger than that! Hold on to that arm. So Andy’s got a hold of my arm. I stand in close. Come on, come on, get a hold of that arm. Oh, look at that! So I’m not super strong and he’s super strong. But the reality is this, here’s the cool part. Instead of getting defensive, instead of putting your dukes up, instead of fighting back, instead of spitting back an insult for insult. My great-grandmother used to say it this way, two wrongs don’t make a right.

So instead of pushing back. Instead of trying to pull away. Move in close and find out what’s going on. You’ll notice I found the weakest link of Andy’s grab because there’s no way I would be able to pull away from him. He’s a big guy but the weak part of the grasp is between the thumb and fingers. If I know that it’s easier for me to move in and then look for that weak spot.

Maybe somebody you’re dealing with verbally. Maybe it’s your wife, maybe it’s your cousin, maybe it’s your kids. Somebody you’re dealing with is throwing some verbal insults. Where’s that weak spot? What are you dealing with? I know for 28 years of marriage sometimes when my wife has thrown verbal insults in my direction most of it’s got to do with me. It’s got to do with me not listening to her, not paying attention to her. When my kids are throwing verbal insults it’s typically not just because they’re not getting what they want. Or maybe it is. What do they really want? They want time with me. They want my attention.

People will always get your attention. Either positively or they will act out negatively to get that attention from you. People on the street do the same thing to us. Clients may do the same thing to us. But how do you win the fight? The easiest way is not to just get defensive, not to pull away, not to put up your dukes. Move in close and look for that weak spot. What are they trying to say to you? Truly trying to say? Be a better listener and then good things will happen.

Andy’s got a call so we’re going to end this. Be valuable because nothing less will do. I’ll see you next week guys.