Can’t Push Someone Up the Ladder

Here we are again, and I’m so glad to be with you. This quote by Andrew Carnegie really struck me because it reminded me of some things: “You can’t push someone up a ladder unless they’re willing to climb a little.”

It got me thinking about times in my life—both as a leader and just as a person, and sometimes even as a parent. How many of you have ever wanted something for someone else more than they wanted it for themselves? Have you ever run into a situation where you went out of your way and sacrificed a ton for another person, only for them to fail? Have you ever wanted something so badly for someone that you thought you would show them how to do it, but they had no interest or internal drive to accomplish it?

One such situation I experienced involved a young man who lived with Karen and me for a period of time. He was renting from us, and we were doing it more as a favor to him. He was working within a church where we were also involved, and since we were both young, we took him under our wing. I wanted so badly to see him succeed. He had a lot of capabilities and talents, but he didn’t have much drive. We helped him find a job, but it didn’t work out. Despite many attempts to support him, he just wasn’t willing to put forth the effort.

He fell behind on rent, and while the money itself wasn’t the issue, I was so invested in helping him that I found myself doing all the work. I even helped him get a paper route. Yes, we were paper boys, driving my van and getting up at 2 AM to deliver newspapers. But he wasn’t truly in it. I ended up making the extra money to cover his rent, but in reality, I did all the work. He continued to fail because I wanted it more than he did. I wanted to help him, but I couldn’t because he wasn’t willing to climb even a little.

Andrew Carnegie’s statement is very true. “You can’t push someone up a ladder unless they’re willing to climb a little.” I can want someone to succeed with all my heart. I can put forth all the effort I have, but at the end of the day, I will never be able to push them high enough if they are not willing to climb a little themselves.

I’m not saying people are lazy. There are many different reasons why someone may struggle, including this young man. Maybe part of it was my willingness to take on too much. Some people will let you do all the work if you’re willing, and they’ll say thank you, but they won’t latch onto that work ethic themselves. Sometimes, people need the pain of struggle to motivate them. Some never get it, and that’s a tough reality to accept.

I don’t know where you’re at today. I’d like to think we’re motivating you, giving you good leadership and examples of what to do and why to do it. Core values matter, and knowing that nothing less will do is an important quality in life. But if you’re not willing to climb a little, none of it will help you.

If you’re dealing with someone right now—maybe a loved one, a younger sibling, or a friend—where you’re doing all the work and growing frustrated, sometimes you have to let them fail. Sometimes, you have to stop yourself. Carrying someone else up a ladder gets really heavy. Instead, just start climbing yourself. Maybe your success will draw them in, and they’ll start to take notice. You can love, support, and encourage, but you can’t do it all for them. They have to start climbing themselves.

I don’t know if I’m speaking truth to anyone right now, but if you’ve experienced this, maybe you’ve learned faster than I did. I’ve made this mistake a few times, even here at Northwest Enforcement, where I wanted it more than the other team member. I sacrificed so much, did extra work for an individual who wasn’t willing to climb, and in the end, they’re no longer here. But I got the wrinkles, the bad back, the sore muscles—because they weren’t willing to climb. That’s just a fact of life.

As you go through the rest of this week and this year, if you’re pushing someone up a hill, pushing them up the ladder, and they’re not willing to climb, you may need to reevaluate your position in that relationship. You don’t want to do all the heavy lifting and end up hurting yourself emotionally, physically, or spiritually. Recognize those things.

I hope this wasn’t too deep for you. It’s just something that resonated with me when I read it. It brought back a lot of memories and tough lessons I’ve had to learn. I can’t push someone else up a ladder if they’re not willing to climb.

God bless you all. Have a wonderful week. Remember—let’s be valuable. Nothing less will do.