Healing Wounds

Hey team, all right. So here we are. It’s a Monday, and I wanted to share with you a quote that I read and unpack it a little bit because it brought back some emotions and feelings for me personally.

Let me share that with you: Number one, your wound is not your fault.

Have you ever been wounded? Your wound is not your fault. Have you been wounded by somebody at work, a family member, a coworker, somebody? I’m not talking about being physically attacked, beaten, stabbed. Those wounds are actually easier to heal, to some degree, than the emotional wounds that come when a family member does something that harms us or when an individual at work or a supervisor harms us.

Your wound isn’t your fault. However, your healing is your responsibility. How you heal and how you get over that wound is up to you.

I recently—actually just yesterday—sat down and was being interviewed for a board position with a group of individuals for their organization. They asked me a question that brought back some of this feeling and thought. It was wrapped around the idea of, “Have you ever had your faith shaken in people, in things?” And in talking about that and my relationship with my Maker, I said, “You know, I don’t know about that. But my faith in people was shaken when a certain event took place.”

I want to share this with you, and the reason I’m sharing it on a Monday is because—humility, investment, transparency, resolve, and yes, we like to eat cake—these things all wrap around being valuable. Because nothing less will do.

I had a couple of events that took place well over 28 years ago that shook me to my core. My faith in certain people and in humanity. I became more guarded, I became bitter, I became frustrated. Then I turned away from and stopped investing in my humility. I was more guarded, so I wasn’t as humble about stuff. I protected myself. And thought I needed to do that in a lot of different ways. I shied away from becoming involved in organizations and with people.

I was very guarded because of the hurt and pain that I had endured. Those things prevented me from being transparent. It changed things in my home, in my relationship with my family, my wife. I didn’t have boys at that time. I didn’t have the children. But my life changed because I didn’t heal well.

While the wound I endured was not my fault, my healing was my responsibility, and I didn’t do it well. It took me years to truly unpack and deal with those kinds of issues. I buried myself in work. I saw successes in other areas of my life, but I also saw pain and hurt and regret.

Now, years later—and it is only by the grace of God—Karen is still with me, and she still cares for me because she’s just, well, amazing. Let’s just put it that way.

I’m sharing this with you because I can imagine that many of you today have maybe been wounded. It’s not your fault. It’s not your doing that created the wounds, the hurt, the pain going on in your life today. But the healing is your responsibility. Forgiveness is your responsibility. Your ability to get past it.

And if you say, “I could never forgive. I could never let go. You don’t know what it’s like, Chad.” You’re right. I don’t know what your situation is like. I do know that, if history tells me anything, the only person you’re really hurting by holding on to that. Putting up those fences, sticking up those walls, lowering your standard of involvement in the people’s lives around you who could bring healing is you.

That bitterness will take its toll over the years on your life, and you’ll look back. Dozens of years, maybe like me, and say, “Man, I wish I would have done something different.” Some of you now will have to say, “Man, I wish I would have listened to that bald guy I used to work for back in 2025.”

I hope that doesn’t happen to you. I hope for your sake that you come to a place where you go, “You know what, I need to unpack some of this.” And there are lots of ways to do that.

We have a chaplain here. Talking to Windee or David would be a great first start. Because one, they’re not going to tell me anything. They’re going to be very compassionate, very caring, and very open with you. They’re going to listen and share ideas. Counselors work. Other people. There are resources out there for you.

Sometimes, just alone time with yourself and thinking can help. But I wouldn’t try to do it all yourself. Having somebody else, maybe a wise person, somebody older than you, can make a difference. I’m 250, so I’m pretty much older than all of you. If you want to come around me and unpack some of these situations, I’d be happy to do that with some of you younger men.

You ladies—you might need Karen or somebody else, a woman in your life, because I’m not the right person for maybe some of the stuff and the pain and things you’ve gone through. It’s not appropriate for me. But Windee is. Karen might be. Other people like that. Maybe you have some sisters and people in your lives who can help you unpack some of those things.

Being vulnerable and open is going to help you get back to being valuable—to yourself and to your loved ones.

So again, your wound is not your fault, but your healing is your responsibility.

I hope, if this lands with you, that you’ll take inventory of what I’ve said and think on it. I just pray that for you, you find that healing and hope and help that you need a lot faster than it took me.

For me, I was pretty stubborn, so it took me well into a decade or so to truly deal with some of the issues I covered up and built walls against for many years. I might still be dealing with some of that stuff—who knows. But I still work on it with friends, family, and other people in my life.

God bless you. Have a wonderful week. See you next week. Talk to you soon. Bye.